Grace: Extending Grace to Fellow Believers

“Walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love” (Ephesians 4:1b-2).

How can it be that Christians can cause pain in our lives when we are already in a difficult place? By the way, I’m not talking about petty things when I speak of difficulties. I’m talking about the big stuff. The majors as opposed to the minors. When faced with such obstacles you may look to the body of Christ for love and support.

It may seem the way Christians respond to hurting Christians can be as unexpected as the crisis itself. Christians, have some grace.

During tough times our brothers and sisters in Christ need love and support, not criticism or condemnation. The wounded need time to work through their feelings and experiences to heal. Healing of deep hurt takes time (Ecclesiastes 3:3).

Thus for Christians to criticize or condemn a brother or sister in Christ, when at a low point in their lives, is like rubbing salt into an open wound. It goes without saying, we cannot understand someone’s circumstances unless we have had the same experience. So can we make judgments when we have never experienced the same crisis? The answer is a resounding no.

Shouldn’t those who call themselves followers of Christ have empathy and compassion for those in the body of Christ who are hurting? The Bible says to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15b). Remember the popular motto in the 1990’s from the novel by Charles Sheldon, “What would Jesus do?” With that being said, when Jesus saw the multitudes and the sick he had compassion for them (Matthew 14:14).

So where does this critical spirit come from? Could it be that we Christians can possess the heart of a Pharisee? In our zeal for Christian principles we become proud and self-righteous. Jesus talks of the whitewashed tombs of the Pharisees which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead ( Matthew 23:27-28).

“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care” (Theodore Roosevelt).

In fact we can have all the right answers. Is it possible to have zeal for God’s word but lack love? According to the Bible, “If I speak with the tongues of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (1Corinthians 13:1). The analogy here of a noisy gong or clanging symbol, is to stir up, to be abrasive, annoying, even harsh.

Thus, it is a matter of our hearts. Let’s remind ourselves that we need to allow God to probe our hearts. You may have noticed that Christians can become puffed up with spiritual pride. Maybe it has crept into your life at one time or another. Pride leads to a critical spirit. A critical spirit leads to a lack of love.

So Christians have some grace. Criticism and condemnation should not be our practice. If we are judging instead of loving, the same kind of judgment may come back to us. “For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you” (Matthew 7:2).

What can we do about this? Here are some suggestions:

• Christians need to examine their own lives first. This can be a humbling experience. “And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye” (Matthew 7:3)?
• Ask God to fill our hearts with His love. Our love will always fall short, we need to be filled with His love continually. “The love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:5).
• Speak words of encouragement and healing, building up and edifying to those hurting in the body of Christ. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).
• Have empathy. Put yourself in someone’s else’s shoes. “Bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).
• And most of all for those who have been hurt, or are hurting. The Lord understands how we feel.“For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses” (Hebrews 4:15a).